tarbiyyahMu membasahi bumi hati

14 dan 15 Julai--ALHAMDULILLAH!!! Allah beri peluang untuk menjejakkan kaki lagi ke bumi tarbiah, Taman Ilmu dan Budi yang sangat dirindui..huhu..padahal, jumaat minggu lepas baru je teman mak cari journal kat library. seriously! mmg rindu sangat UIA!, semalam, turun je dari bas, hirup udara UIA yang segar--ternyata baru lepas hujan waktu tu...and i whispered to myself "dis is where I belong to!"...mmg terasa mcm org dok oversea dah lama tak balik kampung...sampai2...destinasi pertama..terus ke banglo besar! bangunan yang peling dirindui di taman ini.

semalam dan hari ini...syukur sangat pada Allah..walaupun usrah sem ni..usrah baru di tempat baru..belum lagi bermula...semalam dan hari ini ternyata benar2 membasahi bumi hati. Dalam keadaan keliru dan 'tertekan' dengan FAQ (sekarang keje ape? pasni nak wat ape? etc) orang2 di sekeliling utk org yang baru grad, sedikit sebanyak mendapat cahaya pedoman. jumpe kawan2...dan berkesempatan jumpe Dr. Wan, membuat diri ini akhirnya menangis dalam solat asar petang tadi...Ya Allah..tunjukkan jalan kebenaran..tunjukkan jalan terbaik....

(salute Dr. Wan! ingatan yang sangat kuat! he could even remember my exact final CGPA! and the others also, he even remembered how many juz i managed to remember since last 2 semesters, he also remembered dat bibah told the class dat if she were given the chance to run away from home, she would go to canada..we were totally amazed..a lot of other information bout me---he knows a lot! fuwh! and i managed to get his businesscard! dah tak jadi student baru boleh ma dapat kartu nama, pasni leh jadi member business, my mentor, yang banyak memberikan inspirasi dan tunjuk ajar, juga paling banyak bagi A (^_^) to me! hihi)

oops...balik ke topik yg sebenar....it might be simple to other people, but to me, to decide and pick d best univ after graduating...is very hard...there's a lot of work to be done...survey...survey..survey..and analysis...alhamdulillah, hari ni, sedikit sebanyak Allah telah bukakan jalan...

benar...kadangkala dalam hidup, kita tak berupaya mencapai impian yang kita bina, walau sekian lama kita mengharap dan berusaha mencapainya, tapi mungkin kerana kita sering lupa utk bersyukur dengan pilihan lain yang diberi menyebabkan kita selalu saja kecewa. LATERAL THINKING, maryam!!! use water logic dis time, use d rock logic only when u need 2 decide!...water logic teaches u dat even though things seem to be hard 4 u to go 2 canada or even ur motherland, back to where u're born in....but Msia also has something special to be offered to you dear self!

i know dat u're dying to go oversea since after getting the SPM result dear myself! u wanted so much..to go out of Msia, to see the world from different perpectives, and learn good things from other people outside Msia....and u managed to get it! u got the chance to go to Jordan! but u, yourself decided to stay in UIA. and today u've graduated..where? in UIA...and now, the same thing comes again, either to go or to stay..aarrrrghhh...why it must be so hard???

dear self, tengok lek lok, jgn wat keputusan terburu2. buat yg terbaik. it might be harder dis time since u need to find ur own source of income...u need to work to support ur study, or....u need to strive really hard to get the scholarships..sabarlah..dan tabahlah..teruskan perjuangan..banyakkan doa..tahajjud...

it might be Allah's indirect way to tell u to spend more time wif ur family, sebab dah dok asrama sejak umur 12 yrs old! doalah banyak2 lagi...kat mana pon diri ini pergi selepas ini, susah atau senang, pasti ada hikmah!

Ya Allah..terima kasih atas tarbiyyahMu hari ini....membuka ruang2 ketenangan buat diri...memikirkan yang terbaik buat Ummah yg kian tenat...selamat berjuang diriku..selamat berjuang!